Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
