quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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