Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just invented taco cereal.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
