I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
