The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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