"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
