Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
