remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
