fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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