i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
