Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dignity is for republicans.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
