you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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