paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
