Im at strip club and am horny
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
