just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
