I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Im part way to drunk.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
