everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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