Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
