...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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