Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
