If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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