farters have to be the big spoon...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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