So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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