And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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