why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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