is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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