You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
