LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
