New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
