i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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