Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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