i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
