I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it's like heaven, but drunker
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
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I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms