What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
