I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED