WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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