Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
