Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
