just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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