The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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