in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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