I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
