So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
be right there i have to get my cape
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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