i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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