i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
