so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize