Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
