Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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