I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
