On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
