don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My vagina is officially offended.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
