Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
