So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize