I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
