ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
