its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
