I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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