God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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