Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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