I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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