Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Randomize
